Unhealthy relationships

Being in an unhealthy relationship can leave you open to exploitation. An unhealthy relationship is when another person maintains power over you and controls what you do and how you live.

There are different ways you could be exploited within a friendship or relationship – these include selling drugs, stealing or being sexually exploited.

Sometimes vulnerable adults are targeted for a type of criminal exploitation known as cuckooing. This is when someone has their home taken over as a base for County Lines drug dealing. Victims of cuckooing might have drug, alcohol or mental health problems, or learning disabilities, although single parents, sex workers and people living in poverty can also be targeted. The process begins with the criminals befriending the victim or starting a relationship with them and when they have gained control over them, they will use the property to distribute or store drugs. Sometimes other people will move in and the victims can face threats to ensure that they don’t reach out for help.

What are the signs?

Initially, it can be difficult to know when a relationship is unhealthy, because the other person appears to genuinely care for you.

However, there are signs that a relationship is unhealthy, including:

You are pressured into doing something that you don’t feel comfortable with, for example carrying drugs or sexual activity
The other person does not respect your views
There is violence, or the threat of violence, to make you do something
You don’t feel able to talk freely, or to say no to the other person
You are not sure if you can trust the other person
They don’t trust you and they go through messages on your phone
They try to stop you spending time with your family and friends, or doing activities that you enjoy
You are encouraged to use drugs or alcohol

You should also be aware if someone else has become the victim of cuckooing and might need help. Signs to look out for include:

More people entering and leaving their property, sometimes at unusual times
An increase in cars and bikes outside the property
Anti-social behaviour such as drug use and open drug dealing at the property
Increased litter outside
Not seeing the person who lives there, or noticing that they seem anxious or distracted
The property starting to fall into disrepair

What could happen?

An unhealthy relationship or friendship could lead to you being exploited to take part in criminal activity, such as transporting drugs or carrying a weapon. You could find yourself in some highly dangerous situations and you could face violence which could put your life in danger. If you are caught and arrested, you could receive a criminal record which will affect other parts of your life, such as employment, housing and travel abroad.

It is easy to lose your self-esteem when you are trapped in an unhealthy relationship. The way you are treated might make you feel worthless. This can make it more difficult for you to escape, as you believe you deserve what is happening to you and that you are to blame, even though that is never the case. You might have been encouraged to use drugs or alcohol and you could become dependent on these as a way of coping with what is happening to you. However, this can make it easier for other people to exploit you, as you become desperate to feed your addiction and willing to do anything that is asked of you in return for drugs or alcohol.

You could be sexually exploited and this puts you at risk of sexually transmitted infections, violence and for women, becoming pregnant.

If you are the victim of cuckooing, you lose your independence as someone else takes over your home and controls your life. You can also face violence and threats so that you are too scared and intimidated to try and seek help.