Unhealthy relationships
It is important to know when a relationship might be unhealthy, as it could stop you from being exploited by another person.
It’s possible that someone might want to become friends with you or start a relationship with you because they want to use you for their own benefit. They might see the opportunity to exploit you for sexual activity, or to sell drugs or steal for them. You might feel that you want to please them, so you go along with it to start with, but it can very quickly get worse and the demands on you become greater.
In an unhealthy relationship, the other person might try to control you – how you behave and how you look. They might make you feel like you can’t speak up for yourself, or that your views or opinions don’t matter. You could also face the threat of violence to make you do something.
Examples of unhealthy relationships being used to exploit young people include County Lines, sexual exploitation and online grooming.
What are the signs?
Spotting the signs of an unhealthy relationship can be confusing, because to start with the other person appears kind to you and might give you gifts.
These are all signs that a relationship is unhealthy:
- The other person does not respect your views
- You can't be yourself or express your views honestly
- There is violence, or the threat of violence, to make you do something
- You don’t feel able to talk freely, or to say no to the other person
- You are not sure if you can trust the other person
- They don’t trust you and they go through messages on your phone
- They try to stop you spending time with your family and friends, or doing activities that you enjoy
- You are encouraged to use drugs or alcohol
- You are pressured into doing something that you don’t feel comfortable with, for example carrying drugs or sexual activity
What could happen to me?
An unhealthy relationship or friendship could lead to you being exploited to take part in criminal activity, such as transporting drugs or carrying a weapon. You could find yourself in some very dangerous situations and you could be hurt or even killed. If you are caught and arrested, you could receive a criminal record which can seriously affect your future.
An unhealthy relationship could make you lose your self-esteem. If you are treated like you are worthless, you can start to believe that is true. This can make it more difficult for you to escape, as you believe you deserve what is happening to you and that you are to blame, even though that is never the case. You might have been introduced to drugs or alcohol and you could become dependent on these as a way of coping with what is happening to you. However, this can make it easier for other people to exploit you, as you become desperate to feed your addiction and willing to do anything that is asked of you in return for drugs or alcohol.
You could be sexually exploited and this puts you at risk of sexually transmitted infections, violence or an unplanned pregnancy.